Though I can look after myself pretty well, I feel like I'm always being taken good care of by friends. Yesterday met up with my dear guitarists, went to hot pot and I ate the last meatball, although they call me Jiejie, the elder sis.
The only thing I've done throughout these years is to figure out what I don't want to and resist to do. I told myself it's fine, as I'm always exploring. Not sure if I can find something that fits me 100%, but let's see. We will sort it out.
不管是再有意思的事，只要它会被评价被打分有及格线就会让极其逆反的我完全失去兴趣，所以在本科毕业之前对于各种运动的兴趣为零，仅存的一些回忆包括跑八百米无法及格，室友替我吹肺活量，最后一次体育考试是彤彤专程从他们学校赶来，趁乱推着我跑的。好在最近几年陆陆续续尝试了一些体育运动，按时间顺序记个录。
其实算是hiking不是mountaineering。严格来说以前也挺喜欢到处爬山的，但是下面要说的是第一次认真爬（野）山：Okky拉上Ming和我在夏天的尾巴去爬山，为了爬这个山我们拼邮从头到脚买了一身行头寄到家里，事实证明冲锋衣真是太实穿了，以前怎么没发现呢。接近900米的山总共花了八小时上去下来，在山顶拍了张照，然后吹着风吃了带上去的午饭。遇到的几位边牧爬山可比人类（我）快多了，well, they are built to be like this
越来越能走了，出门前一天先在湿地和Naomi走了一个下午不带停的，第二天又和syz去海边五个小时走了15公里，坐在灯塔的小院子里吃从家里背来的自制三明治。也经常去森林和河边走走顺便Geocaching。
冬天Okky带我去滑冰。她问我之前有滑过冰吗，我说只滑过那种有four wheels的，她说oh no hope you'll be fine lol刚开始当然是会摔屁墩的，但只要大胆往前滑就没问题了，第二个半小时我就能不扶东西自己滑了。之后还和Margi去滑过一次冰，遇到一个伊朗裔小女孩，跟她说波斯语之后她不理我了(:」∠)_
在fediverse看到友邻Jacinle推荐，只要电脑和手机就可以玩，于是生日给自己买了一年份的会员，不想出门的时候就在家跳一跳，switch上的的还能好几个人一起玩。有些eurodance的歌真挺怀旧的！
探索城市从探索周围开始。白天长的时候想着不能浪费了，于是去搞了跑步鞋每天晚上去跑个五公里，每次都尽量跑不同的路线，跑起来的时候会觉得原来走路/公交那么远的地方跑过去真的好近。后来逐渐把重点设置成越来越远的tgtg店或者kebab店，吃的时候也稍微心安理得那么一点点，运动完补充蛋白质了。
值得单独一篇blog，只想说Geocaching太好玩了，结合了定向越野、解谜与找东西，可能跟不止十个人玩儿过了，唯一不好的可能是找不到的时候会很着急。还参加了几次线下活动，主要内容就是交换trackables，讨论大家没找到的cache和没解出来的谜。
和一抹多冬天去尝试玩儿了一次，效果不太好，还是有一些顾虑在，希望有机会可以去找个resort住下练一周。
I still don't know the name of that security guard. There is a convenience store near my home, and he is the only security guard that always keeps a big smile on his face even when the store is busy.
He always says hello to everyone. When he's busy, he shows his greeting by smiling. After Covid, I can tell people's facial expressions even they wear a face covering. In recent months my housemate and I have always appeared in the store for discounted sandwiches in the evening, and I guess he must be familiar with us, one always in PJ pants, and another always wears the same waterproof jacket.
We gradually developed a kind of “tacit understanding”. One day, I was pouring Jelly beans into my mouth as I walked into the store. I bought this packet from another store, and suddenly realised that this store has the same product. Then I stopped and began to titter with embarrassment. Just as he reached his hand over, I held the packet out. I poured a few candies into his palm. He said with a laugh, “I don't always eat food from customers, but you two are special!”
The last time I saw him was in September. We asked him when the shop assistants started to put the yellow stickers on sandwiches, he said 7 pm. He also said if he can help save a few for us, but he would go to another store two days later because he rotates through the different branches. When I meet him again, I will show him this blog.
室友常常用“咻”这个拟声词形容时间过得飞快。在学校呆得太久了，每到九月都能感受到一种生物钟似的改变的冲动。
新学年刚开始就出现一大堆麻烦事，前前后后总计打了大概得有五十个电话才完全把水电暖的问题搞定；中间停了一次热水，吓得我们还以为锅炉系统在我们持之以恒的折腾之下终于完蛋了，还好是全楼的都坏了，第二天锅炉工就来修了；接着马桶又莫名其妙堵了，在楼下小店买威猛先生居然要看身份证看年龄，是腐蚀性太强，怕我们买回去干坏事吗。
压力一大就容易出现幻觉，是说叫爆炸头综合征什么的。出现幻觉的当下觉得没什么，回过头来跟别人转述的时候觉得非常恐怖，又要追加一些话语解释自己的身体能正常工作，朋友说精神病院里关着的都觉得自己是正常人，如果我是旁观者的话我也觉得好像自己是在狡辩似的。
天气变化得很快，这周开始就是正式的秋天了，从温度到天气都是。今年夏天实在太凉快了，所以入秋其实也没有之前那么痛苦，好像八月就一直在穿长袖长裤了。今天下午难得天气不错，跟室友走去了一个有中文书馆藏的图书馆。我们提前注册好了，来了就可以领卡然后借书，我借了本Peter Hessler的寻路中国的中文版，和一本英文的讲地铁的厚书。明天去隔壁镇图书馆还九月初借的几本书，有本讲城市漫步的，结果全是在有尾气的路边散步，翻了几页就不看了，这算什么嘛，还是大树林大草地好。现在已经不买书了，勿增实体，全靠图书馆和Libby，书架上还有本学校借来的cmx读书会要看的小说。图书馆作为一个portal让书在人们手中流转，如果写一本书的旅程一定很有意思，我猜只要是不太巨大的书都坐过很多次公交地铁了。
今天跟野猪和彤彤发消息，我说以前本科的时候好欢乐啊，野猪说，确实很青春啊。明明也没过去太久吧？所谓“青春”大概可能只是因为不用操心生计所以无忧无虑。相比起来，感觉这两年自己在快速长大，能处理很多事情了。好吧，其实也没多大长进。
确实有在用学习新东西来逃避一些问题，结果就是滚雪球滚成一大堆无法解决的巨型问题了。还是要忍住，做一些有必要做的事情。祝我顺利。
关于中秋节最近的记忆是，大二刚开学的时候不想写英语课作文，就让wth帮我随便写一篇，他写了关于月亮和reunion的。
这些年来一直辗转居住，过双倍的节日。每到节日的时候就有种置身事外的抽离感：春节的时候总是在上课，那么就晚上煮火锅或者大家包一大堆饺子冻起来，可能周末出去吃一顿好的打打牙祭；我所在的地方放大假而中国在上班的时候，就有种凭空多出一个假期的侥幸，像是学校突然放高温假台风假似的心情。
总有人问我有没有吃月饼，答，人民币60块一个月饼是在抢钱吗！不如自己做蛋挞，反正都是高油高糖又圆又黄。
I was not that miserable during high school compared with other Chinese students. I did not always go to the refectory. Of course I was not a good student, so I had enough time to explore the shops nearby during my lunch break and the dinner break. One day I found Maggi instant mashed potato in a shop. It met all my needs: cheap, instant, tasty, can provide enough carbs for the upcoming classes, and warm, which is important in winter. Yesterday I saw instant soup in a supermarket. It immediately reminded me of my old love. Since there wasn’t a Maggi one, I grabbed another brand that I never heard of. Turned on the tap, switched on the kettle, tore the sachet, poured the powder and hot water, mixed. A taste of nostalgia. Sadly I've got used to the familiar industrialised taste, and not able to enjoy fresh-made mash. It accompanied me once for a long time, and now it’s back to my life again.
Last month my housemate Yahui and I went to a park nearby to view the annular solar eclipse. Before set off, I made a simple eclipse viewer, and had a bottle of ink with me.
It was cloudy when we arrived at the park. Some people were taking group photos, more people were jogging, it seemed that no one had heard about the news of solar eclipse. We had to sit on a bench and wait. Soon the sun appeared under the cover of thin clouds. I took my viewer and stood with my back to the sun, looking for a suitable angle. Then I saw a spot on the screen that looked like a torch. It was trembling slightly because of my heartbeats.
We then walked towards the lawn. There we met Kim, a woman in her 50s or 60s. She leaned on her bike with the bike lying on the ground, viewing the eclipse in a very relaxed position. She said we are the only two she met viewing the eclipse at that day. She said 20 years ago, when we were not born yet, there was a solar eclipse that everyone came out, waited and viewed, but now no one even care about this. No matter what happened on the Earth, the cosmos always follows it's own way and will never be changed.
Kim asked our names and their meanings. Yahui, the light but not that dazzling, exactly echoed with the theme of that day.
How to make the solar eclipse viewer: https://youtu.be/PMPBWLSYKaw
鸡蛋饼
I can't find a proper word in English to refer to 饼 (Bing), which can be tortilla, flatbread, naan, or pancake. Having grown up in Northern China, Bing is always my breakfast since I was in kindergarten. It's easy to cook, can be served as breakfast, dinner or a snack. I improved(localised?) the recipe so that all the ingredients can be found in a Western supermarket.
1 Egg 1 Tortilla wrap 1 Spring onion/green onion Vegetable oil Salt Lettuce Chilli Sauce (Optional) Chopped coriander (optional)
Step 1: Chop the spring onion. Mix an egg with 2 pinches of salt and the chopped spring onion in a bowl.
Step 2: Add 1 tsp oil to the pan. Turn on the medium heat, and pour the egg mixture into the pan. Cover the tortilla over the egg mixture. * Please pour in the egg mixture before the pan is hot. In this way, the egg mixture and the tortilla wrap can be stuck together.
Step 3: When the egg mixture becomes golden, flip the Bing and heat the other side for several seconds till it's warm.
Step 4: Spread some Chilli sauce on the Bing. Laoganma, Gochujang, Sriracha or Thai sweet chilli sauce all work well! Add some chopped coriander to garnish. Put two leaves of lettuce on the Bing, fold in two edges, and it's now ready to serve. * Which kind of lettuce? Romaine, iceberg, butter lettuce, or any crunchy lettuce you like!
柏林警局半日游
2019年冬天，我去德国旅游。计划是前几天自己一个人在柏林到处转转，之后坐大巴去Dresden找耗哥玩。
在柏林住的是Charlottenburg 附近男女混宿的青旅，类似宿舍上下床的配置，10人一间，共用一个卫生间及衣橱。旅游开始的第二天，起床后隔壁床的人跟我搭讪我就回了两句，结果此人从行李箱掏出一盒费列罗和几个Mars巧克力拿给我并紧紧握住我的脖子后方，亲了我的脸。此时房间里并无他人，脖子被握住我感觉很危险，就拿起费列罗的盒子使劲打了他的头。然后他骂骂咧咧地把行李箱收拾好去退房了。我坐在床上手足无措，拼命地给朋友们发消息，担心被报复，但最后还是决定去报警。
等他退房之后大概又过了半小时，我收拾好行李，揭下贴在他床头的写着名字和床位的卡片，去找了前台，申请换成female only的房间。前台帮我报了警并复印了那人的护照信息。大概过了十分钟，来了两位人高马大全副武装的男警员。他们二人请我陈述了事情的全过程，简单地记录了一下，打电话汇报，然后跟我说，我可以跟他们去警察局做笔录，并且请了专门处理性犯罪相关的agency帮助我，警察局也离城里近一点。于是我就坐了警车进城，人生头一次。
两个年轻警察也还挺友好的，一位普鲁士人，一位土耳其裔。问我去了哪里玩，是不是现在对柏林的印象变得很差了；路过柏林动物园，他们说里面有熊猫哦，我们车上现在就坐着一位panda specialist。警察们听说我是一个人来玩的，特别震惊，还叫我下次住青旅一定要住female only的，我说在伊朗的时候也是男女混住呢，他们说伊朗不行吧，我说外国人可以的。警察还问我香港是怎么回事，我说居民觉得警察没有跟他们站在一起。
到了警察局（LKA 1），一位中年男性警察接待了我，并给了我一杯热咖啡。他说他请了一位专门协助此类案件的可以讲普通话的翻译，我说其实我完全可以用英语来讲，他说这种事最好还是有翻译协助比较好。我只是觉得用母语复述痛苦的事会增加我的痛苦，每复述一遍就好像又亲身经历了一次，用英语就不会有那么强烈的痛感。有种理论是说讲外语的时候没有连结那么多感情，现在体会到了。
坐在走廊长椅上看书，等了大概半小时，来了一位头发花白的德国女士。不是华人，我心里暗自松了一口气。我们三人进入房间，警察打开电脑录入笔录，翻译开始跟我用汉语沟通，非常详细地记录了我说的所有内容，并翻译给那位警察。因为已经知道具体是谁了，我想象的指认嫌疑人的情节并没有发生。翻译带了本好几厘米厚的本子来，上面密密麻麻全都是性犯罪相关的中文英文德文笔记。想起结婚移民的女性会因为绿卡在遭受家暴后放弃报警，不知道这位翻译经手过多少这样的案件。笔录结束后，警方说，你可以选择报案或不报案，但这种程度的我们一般是批评教育为主，我说没关系，这个事我报了警已经好受很多了，只是很害怕被报复，警察说，你过两天就要离开德国，他应该找不到你。那么就这样吧，我在打印好的笔录上签了名按了指印。怎么说呢，难得在跟警察打交道的时候有被当人看的感觉。于是出了警察局跟警察和翻译道别，坐地铁开开心心去Gendarmenmarkt玩耍了。
昨天晚上躺在床上突然很想维明，可能这辈子都没机会再当室友了，就觉得得赶紧写点儿什么东西固定一下我的记忆以防丢失。
维明是我的同学兼前室友，一米八的个子一百一十多斤，每次来我家的时候在我这六七平方米的小房间腿就伸展不开。很羡慕她长得高就不怕被欺负了，维明很有自知之明地说，我虽然高但是瓤啊。
维明是有点“老派”的那种人，偶尔会流露出一种老大爷的气质，可能主要是因为保温杯和枸杞，夏天也穿长裤，和中老年男性常备款洗得有点旧旧破破的白T。对维明的第一印象就是养生。朋友们来家里玩的时候我一般提供桶装矿泉水，因为我自己不喝热水所以那时候厨房里连烧水壶都没有，维明来了，就用微波炉给她热一杯水。秋冬狂风大作，在路上维明也完全不会说话，因为觉得张嘴了就会吸入寒气就会生病。夏天我们买了白朗姆酒准备自己做mojito，维明说，冰块只要一块就好，够了够了！
2020年初，两个室友匆匆回国，留我一个人无比焦虑地住在空荡荡的房子里。我本来就胆小，是会被邮递员扔进来信的声音吓到不敢出厕所门的那种，维明说，这事包在我身上，马上帮我找好了和她的宿舍在同一栋楼的另一个房间。我收拾好必要的行李打车过去的当晚，新闻就说第二天要封城。过了不久那个房间的主人要退宿了，维明又想办法找了她同个flat里的房间。于是整个夏天都和维明老师住在一个flat里。
没有空调的夏天的消夏方式就是晚上关了灯坐在她房间的地上听歌。每次回看这个视频都还是能直接感觉到夏天的气味和温度。